Falling Slowly
by you melt my butterr
Summary: Amanda & her sister Rhiannon move to La Push after their parents die during the attacks in Seattle. Amanda finally learns the truth behind the secrets, and the sudden death of her parents. The last thing she wanted to find was love, eventually it comes.
1. Remembrance

**I do not own any characters from Twilight.  
I only own Amanda & Rhiannon.**

**Leave some reviews so I know if I should continue or not.**

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I woke up in a loud scream, sweat seeping out of every inch of my body on to my twin sized bed. My sister Rhiannon came running into my room, concern filling her face. "Another nightmare?" She asked, handing me a towel that laid next to my bed.

I nodded solemnly, my heart racing against my chest. She only shook her head and left my room, closing my door slightly behind her. Ever since we moved to La Push a few days ago, I've been having these horrible nightmares. I can't even describe the horror I feel every time I see the red eyes on the familiar face I couldn't quite make out and then .. I can't even describe it without getting chills.

I laid back down, closing my eyes praying that I wouldn't have to see that nightmare flashing by my mind again.

--

_A young girl was walking through a scenery of green that surrounded her, she must have been in a wooded area. Her bright blue eyes looked frightened as she heard leaves rustling behind her. She didn't want to turn around to see what was there, so instead she picked up her pace, zig zagging through big Maple and Oak trees._

_She finally came out into a clear patch of grass, without any trees in front of her. She sighed a big sigh of relief when she realized that she wasn't being followed. Well thats what she thought when she heard the rustling behind her, she was just being paranoid she thought to herself._

_"Hello, beautiful." A male voice interrupted her calm thoughts. She turned around just to be looking into those familiar red eyes again. She screamed..._

--

"AMANDA! BREAKFAST!" Groaning, I woke up and grabbed my outfit for the day. I hated the morning, but showers usually woke me up. As I entered the kitchen, I sat down on a chair, and watched Rhiannon cook. "You do know that today is the first day of school?" She asked, flipping a pancake. I stared at her with wide eyes.

"You can't be serious?" I heard her laugh, which only made me glare at her through my now narrowed eyes.

"Of course I'm joking Mands. But you only have a week left until you do go back. I have your schedule and everything already, we just have to go and get your school supplies, which I have a list from the office. Don't roll your eyes at me." I groaned as I slammed my head down onto the kitchen table. I hated school, and I hated school shopping. Especially with Rhiannon, she was so picky with everything I wanted to get.

She smiled at me, but it quickly faded when she plopped down across from me. "What's wrong Rhi?" She only looked up from the table and shook her head. "Come on Rhiannon, tell me." I pleaded, she always got like this eventually and I hated it.

"I just miss back home, I miss mom and dad. I keep blaming myself for their .." I shook my head as she sighed, running her hand through her long blond hair.

I grabbed her hand and looked into her now teary brown eyes. "Rhiannon, it wasn't your fault. So stop blaming yourself. What happened was a totally chaotic incident, and nothing could have stopped it. There was a huge accident on the road, and mom and dad were just there at the wrong time. They would have wanted us to move away from Seattle, especially when all those killings were going on also." I hated having to be the responsible one in the family, when I was the younger sibling. She was two years older than me, which made her nineteen years old.

"I know Manda, it's just hard." She announced getting up, dropping my hand that was in hers. I sighed, she'd be better in a few minutes. She always had this guilt trip in the morning, but then was back to her original out going, annoying personality.

--

I watched some television a few hours after Rhiannon's guilt incident, while she jogged around the block a few times. We were supposed to go get the school supplies today, but I don't think we are anymore. Sighing again, I heard the door creak open.

"Rhi?" I questioned, as I got up from the couch and walked into the living room doorway. I heard her mumble something from the front porch. "What?"

"While I was running, I tripped over this package," I noticed she had a rather large white envelope in her hands, "it's addressed to Billy Black. It's a few blocks away, about a 5 minute drive." Furrowing my eyebrows together, I started to remember that name. Billy Black, where had I heard that name before?

"Rhiannon, why do I know that name?" She just looked over, smiled and then shook her head.

"He used to be a high school friend of mom's. This used to be the house she grew up in, when her mother died she gave the house to mom. So mom put my name for the next owner of this house in her will. You actually met Billy and his son Jacob a few years ago at a Christmas party." I raised an eyebrow, I couldn't remember this party she was talking about. I shrugged my shoulders, and walked out of the house.

"Well, we should probably return that to Billy." I finally said entering our Ford Explorer. Rhiannon started the ignition, and started to drive away from the house that I hadn't left in nearly three days.

When we finally reached the Black's house, a feeling of nervousness rushed through my body. I hated going to a new area without knowing someone. You could say I was the type of girl that was shy and afraid of everything, which I wouldn't deny, because it was true.

Rhiannon knocked on the door three times before a man in a wheelchair answered the door. He scrutinized us for about a good ole minute, until he finally recognized who we were.

"Rhiannon, and Amanda Winters? How are you two?! Come on in! I'm sorry for the mess, Jacob has run off and hasn't returned in a few weeks. I haven't gotten around to picking up and cleaning everything." He announced, ashamed of how the house looked.

I started to remember him. I remembered how he used to always make my mom laugh, and how close he was to my father. My dad would always mention a Billy Black every so often, and then my mom would tell him to be quiet when he would start telling stories. I always got a weird vibe about Billy Black when my dad would talk about him. But looking at the man in the wheelchair, all I felt was pity. He seemed happy though, so I was slightly happy for him.

"When I was walking today, I came across this. We decided that it was a good idea to return it to you, in case it was something important." Rhiannon said, showing him her pearly white smile.

He smiled back and offered us to sit down. "Mr. Black? Would you like me to help you clean up a bit until your son gets back?" I asked, trying to help out the old man a little bit. He just shook his head, but smiled and thanked me though.

The rest of the day was spent talking about Jacob and how he would be a junior, the same as I. While Billy and Rhiannon were talking about mom and dad, I zoned out looking through the window that was facing towards the forest. I saw a glimpse of a rather large creature run through the out skirts of the forest, I wanted to investigate, but that was when Rhiannon told Billy that we should head back home.

"You two should visit more often! We can share stories again!" I laughed and waved bye to Billy while Rhiannon started the ignition. She laughed, waved and then pulled away. I still had a smile plastered on my face when I saw the large creature sitting on its behind, watching the car drive away. I continued looking at it until it just became a blur in the distance.


	2. Abnormal dog?

**I own nothing from Twilight, just Rhiannon and Amanda.  
And Tannenbaum Bell, the sisters name is pronounced like Ree-Ann-Non.  
And thanks for the review, I'm glad you like it so far!**

**More reviews are welcomed!**

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"Amanda! I'm home!" Rhiannon yelled as she walked through the front door. Being in the kitchen, it seemed a lot louder than it would have if I was upstairs. I rolled my eyes about to scold my sister for being a dimwit, but that was when I realized she had company.

"Ah, Manda bear, I would like you to meet Embry, Paul and Quil. They're also attending school with you, they're juniors." My mouth hung open at the three gorgeous boys standing in the kitchen door way.

I smiled as I shook hands with Embry first. The first thing I noticed was how hot his hand was. His brown eyes were scrutizing my blue ones, trying to look for answers that I didn't have. He was atleast a foot taller than me, reaching the maximum height of six three. He was tall and slender.

I kept the same smile on my face as I shook hands with Quil next. His hand was exactly the same as Embry, hot and suffocating. His black hair was really short, almost like a buzz cut. He wasn't as tall as Embry, but he was still taller than me.

The last boy was Paul. I was hesitant about shaking hands with him because of the scowl on his face at first, but in an instant it vanished. His hand was also hot, he was also shorter than Embry.

After introducing myself and shaking hands, I realized that I wasn't dressed appropriately, so I quickly dashed up the stairs and into my bedroom. I walked over to the window sill that my jeans were occupying, and grabbed them. While pulling the jeans up to cover myself, I looked out the window. I watched as that same shadow walked along the outskirts of the forest.

I threw on a regular shirt, I walked downstairs to meet four gazes from the living room. Rhiannon just smiled and continued watching the movie she put on. I rolled my eyes and quickly threw a thick, regular baby blue sweatshirt over my head.

"I'm going for a walk Rhi. I'll be back before it gets dark." I didn't wait for an answer, but walked out the door. I didn't even notice the three quick glances the boys made to each other.

--

Walking through the forest gave me chills, it reminded me to much of my nightmares that I've been having. I shivered as I finally reached a little place that looked like a beach. I remembered Rhiannon talking about the La Push beach, but I never thought it could look so ... nice.

Sitting on a large rock, I pulled my knees up to my chest. I just needed time to myself, get away from Rhiannon and the house. Sure I loved Rhiannon, but she could be so suffocating sometimes, especially now.

Thinking about Seattle just made me want to cry, I never cried for them, and I never will. Not because I don't want to but because I can't. Can't because they wouldn't want me to, and because Rhiannon was the one who cried for the both of us. She still does, she thinks I don't know but I hear her.

All my thoughts stopped at that moment, same as my heart. Hearing a branch behind me crack, made me go into hysterics. Sobs escaped my mouth, and tears started to fill my eyes. I shut my eyes tightly against my knee. This was my own personal nightmare. I was to afraid to turn around and see what was behind me, for fear of those familiar red eyes.

Letting out another sob, I slowly lifted my head and turned my neck slightly to the right. Instead of meeting the gaze of those eyes, I came to realize that a huge dog was sitting next to the rock. He, as I assumed, had a rusty brown color fur coat. He looked larger than a dog, but he might have been an abnormal one?

His dark eyes were looking up at me, as I looked down with tears still in them. I was shaking slightly as I released my legs from the grip of my arms. I heard a low growl escape from the dog as I landed on the ground. I backed up slowly, terrified of the abnormal dog that was now standing up.

I backed up more, trying to get away from him, but only to fall back on my butt and against a tree.

_Stupid rocks._

The dog whimpered slightly, and trotted over to where I was. I flinched back when he sat in front of me, only inches away from my face. An unwanted tear rolled down my terrified face, but was only licked away by the dogs tongue.

"What the hell was that for!" I shouted at the dog, finally regaining control and my voice. In response he let out a yelp that sounded almost like a laugh. I smiled, happy to know this thing wasn't going to eat me.

I stared into his eyes for a brief moment, and couldn't help but recognize them. I just couldn't quite put my finger on it. I also noticed the sadness, it was evident and clear when you looked into them. I smiled, as I hesitantly let my hand travel towards his head. I was shocked when he plopped down onto the ground, resting his head into my lap. I laughed when he started to wag his tail, as I started to stroke his fur.

I rested my head against the tree, still petting his head. I noticed the sun was going down and I had to go home, but I didn't want to disturb the peace I finally had. I shifted a little bit, which woke up my new friend, Bear. He looked up at me with puppy dog eyes and I couldn't help but melt inside, he was so adorable. I removed his head from my lap, and stood up.

"Sweetheart," I got a lick on the hand, "I have to go home. My sister is going to throw a fit if I'm not home in a few minutes." I knelt down and quickly threw my arms around his neck. I let go reluctantly, and started to walk away.

Not even a second later, I felt a head go inbetween my thighs. I yelped as I grabbed onto Bear's neck for dear life. I wrapped my legs around his waist, as he took off into the forest. Even though I was terrified, I smiled as the breeze past by me, blowing my hair everywhere. I felt safe in Bear's presence, I couldn't comprehend the feeling I had towards him.

He stopped right next to my house, so if Rhiannon was looking out the window she wouldn't see us. I laughed quietly as I hugged Bear again.

He started to trot away. "Bear?" I yelled quietly, he looked back at me and started to walk back. I knelt down again and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Can you come by again tomorrow night?" I asked, thinking I was talking to a person. He licked my face again, and looked like he nodded. I was only imagining things, I thought to myself as I watched him trot off into the distance.

_I could get used to this._


	3. Love Sick Puppy Dog?

**I own nothing from Twilight, only Amanda and Rhiannon.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed so far!  
Keep leaving the reviews! They make me happy!  
I'm a nice person, I don't bite... hard.. hah. :D**

**Also, I have a surprise to anyone who guesses the question right.**

_The dream with the man she keeps picturing, with the familiar red eyes, who do you think it could possibly be?_

**If anyone guesses right, then I'll tell you what the surprise is :D**

**So leave reviews with what you think of the story so far, and also the answer you think is right for the question!**

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_**"**Amanda, please... please don't do this to me." Her blue eyes looked up into the desperate, pleading dark brown eyes that she was so familiar with. Yet, she couldn't see his face, just his beautiful eyes._

_"You don't understand Amanda.. I never wanted this to happen to me ... ever. I didn't think I could, but I did, and I'm sorry that I hurt you. Just .. please give me one more chance. I...I love you.." She felt so small when she stood in front of him, her sad eyes were being enveloped by unwanted warm tears as she stared into his eyes._

_She didn't understand what she felt, but every emotion was speeding through her veins. She wanted to cry, smack, yell, kick, do anything to hurt this man in front of her._

_But all she could do was run away from this mystery man who felt so familiar to her. She ran as everything became a blur, due to the tears that were streaming down her face. She could hear him in the distance yelling her name, untill finally she heard an anguished howl._

_She ran as fast as she could away from her life, from the only person she ever truly had strong enough feelings for. "I love you too." She whispered, stopping for a quick break from running. She heard a leave being crunched behind her. She stood up, her body stiff as a board._

_"Hello, my beautiful.." She turned around only to be looking into those terrifying red eyes._

--

"Amanda! Wake up! Billy wants us to go visit, supposedly Jacob's back." I groaned and pulled the covers over my head. I heard her snort, and felt the covers being ripped off of me. I started yelling obscenities at Rhiannon, which only made her snicker. "We're leaving in an hour, so get ready."

Muttering under my breath, I laid on my bed trying to remember where I've seen those beautiful brown eyes before which I continue to see in my dreams. Confusion swept over me while I grabbed a few articles of clothing. Why would every dream I have end with those red eyes? How did I know him? He looked so familiar.

I shook my head from the terrifying image of the red eyes, to something more pleasant. I wanted to see Bear today, but Rhiannon's making me go see Billy Black. Maybe after I reunite with Billy and Jacob, I can go into the woods and find him.

I didn't even understand why I was so attached to the stupid abnormal dog. It's not like he could have a conversation with me. I slapped myself on the forehead, I'm so pathetic, really.

Putting my now wet hair up in a messy bun, I walked downstairs only to be greeted by Quil, Embry and Rhiannon. Ever since that day she brought them over, they were here every day. I became fast friends with them, they had great personalities, but I could tell they had a wall up whenever I would ask them some personal questions. I eventually gave up when they wouldn't tell me, and would quickly change the topic.

"Manda bear! How are you on this lovely day?!" I squeaked when Quil grabbed me off of the stairs and brought me into a giant bear hug.

"I'm fine, besides the fact that I can't breathe!" I gasped for air when he let me go, he ruffled my hair up a little bit and put on a goofy grin. I rolled my eyes as they started to push me out the door and towards Rhiannon's car.

"I can see you guys are excited to know that Jacob's back." I questioned as I watched Quil and Embry fidgeting in the back seat. I couldn't help but smile at how excited they were.

"Of course we are Mandy," I scowled when Embry addressed me by that nickname, I hated it, "we haven't seen him in a few weeks. He's our best friend." I just nodded my head, and looked out towards the house that was closely approaching us. I grinned when I saw Billy out on the porch with a huge smile on his face. I also noticed another figure, even from the distance I could tell he was huge.

Even before Rhiannon could stop the car, Quil and Embry ran over to Jacob, who engulfed them both into a hug. I couldn't help but smile as I bashfully approached the reuniting friends. I felt a pang of jealously run through me. I never had friends that were like Embry and Quil, I never had that kind of friendship with anyone. Sure, Rhiannon was my best friend, but she's also my authority figure right now.

"Ah, Jake! I want you to meet Amanda and Rhiannon Winters. They might seem familiar, you have met them at a Christmas party a few years back." Billy introduced Rhiannon first, considering she wasn't that shy. I, on the other hand, was a bashful moron who couldn't even look at Jacob.

But when I did, everything around me seemed to stop. I could see the wind blowing the trees back and forth in slow motion. I could see Embry and Quil's mouth moving, yet I heard nothing coming from their moving mouths. I was in a trance, and I couldn't seem to look away from Jacob's beautiful face.

I felt a nudge from the side of me, I looked over to see Rhiannon looking at me strangely. I just shrugged, and silently waved her off. "Hi, I'm Amanda." I wanted to slap myself for being so obvious.

Jacob just smiled and extended his hand for me to shake. "Hi Amanda, I'm Jacob.. Obviously." I rolled my eyes at him, and walked passed him, and entered the house where everyone else was having a conversation.

The whole entire night that I had spent at the Black's house, I couldn't keep my eyes off of Jacob. I also met more of their friends Seth, Jared, Leah, Sam, and Emily. I was forewarned about Emily's appearance, but when she walked into the house I was shocked. She was absolutely beautiful, even with the scars she was still gorgeous. I slightly envied her, not because of her winning personality, or her gorgeous looks, but because of the love she showed for Sam, and the love he returned to her.

I got along great with Seth, his personality was the same as Rhiannons, but his looks was what caught me off guard. He looked about 20, yet he was much younger. He still acted like a child, and I loved him for it. He was so outgoing, and he always made me laugh. Sam and Jared got along fine with me, but I could tell they were hiding something from Rhiannon and I. I didn't bother caring though, I was having to much fun with the Black's and their friends.

But there was one person I don't think I personally got along with. Leah Clearwater. Unlike her brother Seth, she seemed like a bitch, especially towards me. I didn't know what I did, but everytime my eye caught with hers, she would scowl and glare at me. She was beautiful though, her long black hair went perfect with her copper skin.

I looked quickly away before she caught me looking at her. I'm going to admit it, I was terrified of her, she probably could rip me to shreds if she wanted to, she was apparently much taller than me.. But who wasn't? I only reached the maximum height of five feet four inches. Everyone else reached above six feet, even Rhiannon. I had noticed that she had a growth spurt in the past year before we moved to La Push.

I watched from the distance how everyone reacted to one another. It seemed like a huge family, even Rhiannon fit in. I was glad she was actually smiling and having a good time, she was finally happy.

I smiled, but I felt someone staring at me. I looked around the room to see who the culprit was, but I found no one staring in my direction. A minute passed by and I felt the same feeling of being watched, I looked up just to be disappointed again. I started to get freaked out, I closed my eyes to get rid of the feeling. I still felt the gaze on me, but I quickly opened my eyes and saw those beautiful brown eyes in front of me.

"Are you okay?" I heard him ask. I could have melted right there on the spot. Just hearing his voice made me go weak in the knees.

_What the hell am I talking about? I don't even know this kid, and yet I'm acting like a love sick puppy. What am I going to do next? Start wagging my ass whenever I see him?_

"Amanda?" I looked up from my stupid thoughts, and saw his eyes penetrating into mine. I saw a flicker of emotions going through his eyes, but I couldn't pin point one of them.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine Jake." I said, showing him a weak smile. He scrutinized me for a minute, not buying the fine statement.

I stared into his eyes intently. They looked so familiar.. Where did I see them? They looked like Bear's, but it couldn't be. Boys don't turn into wolves, it's just a made up story.

_Right?_


	4. Bad Thoughts

**I only own Amanda & Rhiannon!**

**Thanks to everyone who left reviews!  
Keep leaving them, I want to know if I should continue with this or not!**

**And keep guessing who you think the vampire is!  
It isn't anyone from the Volturi ****either, Mistress Persephone :D**

**:)  
**

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**Jacob's point of view.**

"Hi dad.." I couldn't even look into my fathers eyes, I was to ashamed. Ashamed of what I've become, ashamed of what I've put him through. I was to selfish and concerned with myself, not even bothering to consider how much pain I would cause to him. He was the only person in my life that I have, well besides the pack, but I can't ever lose my dad. He's all I got.

"You run away for weeks, and all I get is, 'hi dad'?" I couldn't help but smile at my dad. "Give your old man a hug!" I bent down and threw my arms around him. I couldn't help but feel happiness run through me. I was finally home.

"Where is Embry and Quil?" I couldn't wait until I see my best friends. They were the ones I worried about. Everytime they would phase, I could feel their depression, their sadness. I only had myself to blame for that. Everytime I felt their emotions, I wanted to slap myself across the face. I never thought how much pain I would cause them either.

There was also a girl in their visions, she looked familiar but I never could pin point where I have seen her. Her name was Rhiannon though, thats all I saw or heard before they would stop their memory from coming forward. There was also another girl, I never truly saw her face full front, considering whenever I saw an image she was always turned with her back towards them. Or she had her face facing downward.

"Oh Embry and Quil will be here soon. Actually, they're here now." I heard a car door slam, and was indulged into a big bear hug with Embry and Quil. I couldn't help but let out a laugh as they started welcoming me back. I was so glad to have them back with me, I've missed my best friends.

"Ah, Jake! I want you to meet Amanda and Rhiannon Winters. They might seem familiar, you have met them at a Christmas party a few years back." I noticed that the older, taller girl was the one I saw in Embry's memory. Rhiannon, she was quite pretty if I say so myself. She had wavy, dirty blond hair. Her almond shaped eyes were a dark brown color. Her skin was slightly pale, but not as pale as ... Bella's..

_Ah damnit! Why can't I just not think about her? Why do I always compare her to everyone I meet? Everything I see reminds me of her, and it just won't go away. I guess this is what heartbreak consists of. Misery._

I watched as who I assumed was Amanda walk towards the porch, and watched her lift her face up. As our eyes connected, everything froze around me. God, was she beautiful. Her brunette hair was up in a messy bun, a few strands fell into her gorgeous face. Her bright blue eyes were mesmerizing, I could get lost in them. They had a sparkle to them.

Suddenly, I felt my heart leap into my chest as I watched her lips move silently. Everything in me changed, I felt a strong pang of adoration towards this pretty petite girl standing in front of me. I felt the urge to run up to her, lift her up and just plant a big kiss on her.

_Wait... Did I just... Imprint? Impossible. I love Bella._

"Hi Amanda, I'm Jacob... Obviously." I watched her roll her sparkling blue eyes at me, I was hoping she didn't here the 'obviously' part. I felt heat, that I already had, run up towards my cheeks, and creep into a blush when I felt her body brush past mine.

_Oh, how I wish I could touch her every day. Stop Jake! Bad thoughts!_

--

All through out the night I watched as Amanda was greeted by everyone. I warned her about Emily beforehand so she wouldn't stare, but as Emily approached her she seemed oblivous to the scars. I was impressed.

As my friends and dad tried to talk to me, I couldn't comprehend anything they were saying. I couldn't concentrate on anything but Amanda. She looked so angelic standing across the room talking to Seth. I felt a pang of jealously run through me when I saw Seth accidently brush his hand against hers.

I'm such an idiot, Seth is to young anyway.

Across the room I could sense Amanda was getting uncomfortable. I quickly followed her gaze, which led straight into the direction of Leah. Great, what could Leah be doing now? I started to get pissed off when I saw the scowl and the glares Leah was sending towards Amanda. I took a few deep breaths to cool myself down before sending Leah into the trees behind the house.

I averted my gaze back towards Amanda, and noticed she had her eyes closed tightly. What is she doing? I didn't even realize I had walked over towards Amanda, until I saw her bright blue eyes staring up at me with bewilderment escaping them.

"Are you okay?" I asked, concern evident in my voice. She looked so frightened, I couldn't help but want to hold her, protect her from anything that comes to harm her.

She just stared up at me, I don't think she was even listening to me. "Amanda?"

"Oh, yeah.. I'm fine Jake." Oh, I loved how she said my name. I saw her weakly smile, I didn't believe that she was fine. She looked shaken up for some reason.

I watched as she just stared into my eyes, I couldn't look away. I had to though, I didn't want her to figure out who I was. _What_ I was. But that's when I caught a whiff of an awful smell.

_Vampire._

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**Sorry it was so short, I don't really like switching point of views, because I'm not very good at characterization.  
But let me know what you thought, I'd really love the feedback from the readers :)  
**


	5. First Day Of School

**I just want to thank everyone who is leaving reviews! I really appreciate it!  
I can't believe you actually like this story so far!**

**Roglol, it isn't Laurent or Victoria either.  
My story takes place after Eclipse :)**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this part, it's kind of on the longish side.  
And in my opinion, boring.**

**Keep leaving the reviews, loves :D**

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"Amanda! Wake up! It's your first day of school!" Sitting up straight, I couldn't believe that I forgot that school was today. Groaning, I wanted to go back to sleep. I hated school, and I know I'm going to hate it even more since it's a new school I'll be attending.

But it couldn't be that bad, Jacob, Embry and Quil will most likely be in some of my classes. However, Jacob's been acting really strange towards me now. Ever since Rhiannon and I visited the Black's a few days ago, he would usually try to avoid me. Even though he tried to avoid me, I would usually catch him staring at me. It was really starting to piss me off, but I decided to just ignore him if he was going to act like a dumbass. I didn't even know why it bothered me so much the way he was acting towards me.

_Maybe, it's because I like him? No, I don't. I barely know the kid, even though he is a family friend, I never actually took the time to talk or even associate with him._

I shook my head to get rid of the stupid possibility of liking him, and went to take the morning shower I always took. Fifteen minutes later, I was walking down the stairs to see a happy and bouncing Rhiannon in the kitchen, I couldn't help but laugh at her appearance. Her hair was tied back, but with a lot of bumps in the center and had pancake mix in there too. Her face had some splotches, and so did her jeans and shirt.

"Nice outfit Rhi." I couldn't help but let out a roaring laugh when she jumped, and dropped a few pancakes on the floor. I shook my head and helped her by picking the pancakes off of the floor. She could be a loving sister when she wanted to be for me.

I sat at the kitchen table waiting for Rhiannon to drive me to school. I had my license, but she never let me drive her 'baby' as she liked to call it.

"Rhiannon, when are you taking me to school? I still have an hour or so to wait, shouldn't I get there early?" I watched apprehensively as she shook her head, with a huge smile plastered on her face. I was going to ask her what she was so happy about, but that was when the door bell rang, and Rhiannon skipped to the door.

_What the hell got her panties in a bunch this morning?_

I couldn't believe it. I hated her so much sometimes. I watched as a smiling Rhiannon came in, and behind her was Jacob, Quil, and Embry. I could tell Jacob didn't want to be there, but I couldn't help but feel the butterflies fluttering around in my stomach when I looked at him.

"Hi Qui, Embry... Jake." I whispered the last name, but kept the same small smile on when I looked at them. I was greeted with the same bright smile from Quil and Embry, but a bitter scowl from Jacob. I wanted to stand on my chair and rip that scowl off his face, but instead I controlled myself.

"I thought that they could take you to school instead, they could show you around and everything." I looked up from the table that I was intensely staring at, and pleaded with Rhiannon to take me to school instead. She didn't budge, and probably was going to come up with some lame excuse. "I'm not much of a good tour guide, considering I've never been inside this school before Mands." I groaned, and rolled my eyes at my sister, who right now I loathe.

"Well we should get going Amanda, we don't want to be late on our first day, now do we?" I couldn't help but smile at Embry. He was trying so hard not to make me feel uncomfortable, it wasn't working well, considering Jacob kept glaring or scowling at me everytime our eyes would connect. I just smiled more at Embry so he wouldn't worry much.

--

I pulled out my schedule, and tried to remember it so I wouldn't have to always look at it everytime a class ended. Embry was supposedly in my first class, which was Literature, so I was glad for that. However, I had lost him in the herd of people that were trying to get to their lockers and classes. I felt panic run through me as I looked for the classroom, I hated being by myself in a new territory. I hated it with a passion, I would always get panic attacks being by myself in these situations.

Before I could start hyperventilating, I heard someone behind me. "Need help?" I heard the voice call out, I turned around and saw a very handsome boy. His sandy blond hair was slightly shaggy, and fell into his gorgeous hazel eyes. His skin tone was incredibly pale, but still had a tint of color in it. He was tall, but not quite as tall as Jacob.

"Yeah, I can't find my class. Literature." He just smiled, showing his pearly whites. I couldn't help but smile at him, he was so friendly looking. His smile was contagious.

"Follow me, I'm heading in that direction, considering it's my class also." I sighed out in relief. "My name is Silas by the way."

"Amanda." I heard my small voice say, I held in a gasp when he suddenly turned around. Why was he so intimidating now? His eyes weren't friendly anymore, and he had a weird look on his face.

"Amanda.. Winters?" I heard him question, I only slightly shook my head in approval. His face then turned back to his original expression.

_What the hell is wrong with these boys here? What's with the damn hostility and the change of moods?_

I didn't realize that Silas had stopped walking, and being the clumsy moron I am, walked straight into his back. I heard him snicker before he opened the door, he grabbed my hand and brought me into the classroom. I noticed that his hand wasn't abnormally hot like Embry's, Quil's or Jacob's. Matter of fact, everyone at the Black's house had that suffocating and abnormal heat, even Rhiannon started to have the warmth radiating off of her.

"Ah, you must be Amanda Winters." I only nodded my head at the woman. Mrs. Munroe was mid age most likely, she had curly black hair. It was in a tight ponytail, her brown eyes were hidden behind thick brown glasses. She seemed friendly, the aura around her was personalable. "You can sit anywhere, they aren't any assigned seats." She announced, waving her hand to open seats. I looked for Embry, and saw that a seat was empty beside him. I also noticed one next to Silas, but I wanted to be with Embry. I gave Silas a small, weak smile before walking towards Embry.

I barely even noticed the glare Silas shot me as I turned my back towards him, and walked towards my friend. I smiled at Embry before sitting down, I watched him smile back but it didn't reach his eyes. Furrowing my eyebrowns, I wanted to ask what was wrong, but decided against it. He never would tell me, especially if it was something personal, which it probably was. A million questions flooded my mind. My mind became hostage to the million possibilities of why Jacob was being cold and distant towards me.

I was brought out of my thoughts when the bell rang. I pulled out my schedule and showed Embry it. He only smiled and said that he was also in my Trigonometry class, and announced that Jacob was also. My smile faltered slightly at the name of Jacob. I noticed that Silas was walking up towards me, and I thought I heard a slight growl come out of Embry's chest, but only shook my head.

"Do you have Trig next Amanda?" I smiled at him, and nodded my head once again. He took my hand again and walked out the door. I hadn't even noticed that Embry had already left. What was wrong with him? Did it have anything to do with Silas? I felt anger rise in the pit of my stomach, did they not want me to make friends? Did they want me to feel unwanted, cause that's sure as hell what it seemed like according to Jacob.

I walked into the Trig class and was surrounded by chatter filling the room, it was noisy as hell. The hallway wasn't even this loud. I felt eyes on me as Silas and I sat down next to each other. I didn't even realize that we were still holding hands. The only thing I was focused on was across from me. Jacob Black was intently glaring at Silas, then to our hands, then to my face. I could tell he was clenching his jaw tight, and his hands were in fists. He was slightly shaking also, and I noticed Embry whisper in his ear. The shaking stopped, but his jaw and fists were still the same.

_What.. the... hell?_

Silas noticed the glare that was radiating off of Jacob, and only smirked in his direction. But being the oblivious moron that I am, I never noticed it. I wanted to get up and talk to Jacob, but that was when the teacher walked in. He was an older man, due to the streaks of grey. He was short, and also had glasses.

All through out Trig, I could feel the unwanted wrath of Jacob Black burning holes into my head, chest, and face. I needed to get away, I couldn't bare knowing that someone hated me for no reason, and it sure seemed like Jacob did. I didn't like being stared at, well no, more like being glared at. I didn't want to be the center of someone's unwanted hate. I didn't want to be the center of anyone's emotions.

I started to feel the tears form behind my eyelids as I closed them tightly. I didn't want to feel vulnerable and weak, especially on the first day of class. I didn't want rumors or gossip to start flying around. But that already began when I walked into Trig, hand in hand with Silas.

_How could I be so stupid?!_

I shook my head, blinked a few times, and took a couple deep breaths. I looked over for a mere second in Jacob's direction, and didn't notice the glare. Instead, it was a look of sympathy? What, does he feel like a jackass for being the way he is? Nope, the look vanished and is now back into a glare.

Cursing underneath my breath I heard the bell ring. Sighing in relief, I walked towards the door. I didn't want to wait for anyone, so I darted for the door. I walked in the direction of my next class which was art. And thank god, no one was in that class that I knew.

Art was my favorite subject, I usually found myself drawing when I would close off others. I never thought I was good, it was just a hobby and I enjoyed it. For the first lesson, our teacher Mr. Finn wanted to see how well we could draw. I picked to draw a wolf. Well more like Bear, I missed that little mutt. I smiled when I heard the bell ring, I couldn't believe how well the picture came out. It looked exactly like how Bear did in real life, I was actually proud of it. Getting up I placed the picture on Mr. Finn's desk, and walked towards the lunch room.

I dreaded this time of the day. I would have to sit with Quil, Embry and Jacob. I felt a hand in mine as I looked around the lunchroom for them. I thought it'd be Silas, but instead I saw Quil's smiling face behind me. I laughed and threw my arms around his shoulders. "How are you holding up today?" I heard him ask as we walked towards the lunch table all the way in the back corner.

"Eh, fine I guess. Everyone seems nice I suppose." I left out the fact that Jacob looked like he was about to murder me. He probably already knew though, Embry and Jacob never keep anything away from each other.

"Yeah, I hear you're warming the cold heart that belongs to Silas." I quickly glanced up at Quil. I heard another growl from someone to my left. I furrowed my eyebrows, what is with the growling? Can I growl? I wanted to see if I could but then I didn't want to look like an idiot. So instead I rolled my eyes at Jacob, who the nasty little growl belonged to, and just shook my head ignoring Quil's statement.

During lunch, I kept stealing glances with Silas across the room. He was actually starting to really annoy me, but I kept it to myself. I also noticed that Jacob kept moving closer to me, but then would move back to his original spot, which was to the end of the bench.

After lunch, I withdrew myself from everyone. I closed myself off, and didn't bother to sit with anyone that was in the same classes with me. Today was to much for me, I couldn't forget the way Silas looked at me after he figured out who I was. I couldn't forget the way Jacob handled himself when he saw me, and the terror I felt when he looked like he was going to rip me to shreds.

And I couldn't comprehend the feeling like my heart was being torn apart whenever I would see the disgusted look on Jacob's face when he would look at me.


	6. Secrets Out In The Open

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"Amanda?" I didn't look up from the drawing I was currently drawing after hearing the unrecognizable voice that hovered above me. "Are you alright?" I hated that question with a passion, everyone has been asking me that for the past week. I seriously was getting sick of it, did I look alright to them?

Looking up during Art class, I didn't remember the name of the tan skinned girl in front of me. She was beautiful in her own unique style. She had large carmel brown eyes, that were brought out even more with the overly done eye liner. Her left eye; however, was hidden behind her long, shiny black hair. Her lips were round, and looked like she was puckering them out for a kiss, but they were normally like that. She wasn't as tall as the other girls in this school, but she was still pretty close. She probably reached the height of five eight, maybe even five nine. I could tell by the way she looked at me, that she actually seemed to care. It didn't feel like she was asking me because she had to, but because she knew something was wrong and wanted to know.

"No I'm not..." I didn't even realize that I had blurted that out to someone whose name I didn't even know. "Sorry to be rude, but I forget what your name is.. " I silently asked, looking down at the drawing again. I didn't want her to see the blush that was creeping into my pale cheeks. I relaxed a bit when she let out a small laugh.

"Oh, it's alright. We've never been formally introduced. I only know your name because Mr. Finn's actually been talking about you a lot lately. He's been saying how good you are at drawing. I can't blame him though, you're fantastic. Oh, yeah. My name is Lilly." I intently listened to her when she was talking about how Mr. Finn liked my work. I thought I was horrible, but everyone is their own worst critic. I couldn't help but let a small smile find its way back to my face. It was genuine also, lately they have all been fake.

Before I could even introduce myself, even though she already knew who I was, the bell started ringing. Groaning, I gathered my school items and placed them back into my back. I didn't want to go to lunch, lately I've just been staying in the art room, or the library, and secretly eating my lunch. I didn't want to have to see Jacob, and have that feeling of my heart being stabbed over and over again. I couldn't bare it anymore, and I couldn't bare the fact that it was all my fault somehow. I must have done something to make him look and feel that way about me. I still was shaken about how he reacted on the first day of school, especially when he looked like he was about to rip my head off.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard that little voice next to me again. "Penny for your thoughts?" I looked over to my right and saw Lilly. Why was she being so nice to me? And why did she look so familiar? Oh yeah, she's Silas's adopted sister. I remember him telling me about her a few days ago. I internally groanded again at that name. Silas. Ah, he might have been gorgeous, but damn was he annoying. Ever since the first day of school, he's been attached to my hip. Every time I tried to be by myself, he would always find a way to get me to talk to him. It might have been his persistance, but I don't know. I couldn't even talk to Rhiannon, Embry, or Quil, yet I could talk to Silas? Something in my head must be loose and broken.

"Ah, it's nothing Lilly." I looked over at her, trying to figure her out. She had a small smile on her face as she looked straight into my eyes, challenging me to find something. "Hey, can I ask you a question?" As she nodded her head in acknowledgment, I tried to decide on how to ask her. "Is it okay... if .. I sat with you at lunch?" I watched her face go from a smile to a roar of laughter. I got embarrassed as she just laughed in my face, and walked off into the cafeteria.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and was pulled around by Lilly. She had a serious look on her face. I pushed her hand off of my shoulder. What was she doing especially after she made me feel like a complete idiot?

"It's fine Lilly, I understand. I'll just go to the Library." I started to walk back out the way I came in, but spotted Jacob walking straight towards me. I turned around quickly, but just bumped right into Lilly, which sent her to the ground, and I falling backwards. I never reached the ground, instead I felt two large, extremely hot hands on my waist. I couldn't understand how he could make me feel like this. How just by a simple touch he could make my breathing slow down and my heart pump faster. I was going to thank him, but then he realized who he was touching and took his hands of my waist. I was surprised when he didn't scowl or glare, but just walked off towards Quil and Embry.

"Amanda, I wasn't laughing at you. I was laughing at the ridiculous question you asked. Of course you can sit with me, I'm a loner anyway. You seem like one too, that's why I approached you today. Plus, you seem like you can use some cheering up also." I laughed out loud as she stood next to me, putting her arm around my shoulders. I couldn't believe how senstive I had gotten over a misunderstanding. I could feel the blush flushing my cheeks as we sat down at a lunch table, right near where the friends I had been avoiding. I could feel their gazes on my face as I stared at the table. I couldn't, didn't want to see their intent eyes staring at me.

"You know Amanda, you have caught four boys gazes. One being my obnoxious brother," I couldn't help but let out a snort as she said this, "and you've caught Embry Call's, Quil Ateara's and Jacob Black's." I couldn't help but bring my eyes up to see them. Sure enough Quil, Embry and Jacob were staring at me. I felt self conscious when I realized I couldn't bring my gaze off of them. I could see hurt and dissapointment in Quil's and Embry's gaze, but I couldn't pin point what was in Jacob's. When he saw I was scrutnizing him, he put a small sneer on his face, and looked away. There goes that stupid torn feeling again. I wish sometimes that humans didn't have to have hearts, we could live off of something else. Something that didn't provide stupid emotions.

"Oh." I couldn't even comprehend how to come up with a sentence to Lilly. I was so flabbergasted with Jacob, that I was mentally handicapped for the moment.

How could he break my fall, which would have made me look like an idiot, and then turn to his normal hating self? Why would he have wanted to keep me from hurting myself, if he didn't even like me?

I saw a hand wave in front of me to get my attention. I smiled apologetically towards Lilly. "As I was saying, since today is Friday, most of the students are having a small bon fire. I wanted to know if you'd like to join me tonight, it'd be lots of fun." I smiled and nodded my head, maybe I needed to get out. I didn't even know it was Friday until Lilly mentioned it.

Maybe this is what I needed. To get away from everyone, everything that was bothering me.

--

"I don't think this is such a good idea Amanda." Hearing Rhiannon's annoying voice, I wanted to turn around and throw my brush at her. Maybe even yell in her face, but I held back. I didn't want to start a fight especially since I know I'd lose.

"And why is that?" I winced at how harsh my words came out. I could tell Rhiannon was taken back by them also, I instantly felt bad, and wanted to apologize.

"I don't know Amanda. I just don't think you should." She was avoiding my gaze. I rolled my eyes, she was hiding something from me.

"You want to know why I haven't been talking to you, or anyone lately?" I could feel the anger rising in the pit of my stomach. I don't know where I got all this hostility from. "Well one it's because you're not even around anymore to let me talk to you! It's also because all of you are hiding something from me! I can feel it, and I can see how I make others around me feel. Jacob hates me for no apparent reason! I didn't do anything to him, yet he glares, scowls, and even growls at me! What the hell do you call that?! And then Quil and Embry are always whispering about something, and when I come in the room, what do you think happens? Oh yeah they go quiet! What the hell is going on around here Rhiannon!? I know you know, because you won't look at me right now!" I was clenching and unclenching my fists, I knew my face was red because by the end of my rant I was screaming at Rhiannon.

"I'm.. I'm sorry Amanda." Rhiannon barely whispered before she walked out of my room and down the hall to downstairs. I could hear the front door slam shut, thats when the stupid angry tears came and said "hello."

I quickly wiped them away, breathing in and out loudly. Lilly would be arriving shortly and I didn't want her to see me this way.

_Broken_.

--

"So who is 'everyone' that you speak of?" I looked over at Lilly, she just had a small smirk on her face. She didn't get to answer, because by the time I had actually asked her the question, we had arrived.

I could see a large bon fire in the middle of a circle, I saw girls from my Trig class and Art class. I didn't even bother to know their names though. I could have seen the three of them even if I was way back in the forest. Quil, Embry and Jacob were all standing near the large Oak trees that surrounded this bon fire. I also saw Rhiannon with the three of them, and felt my heart being ripped out of my chest. She was such a hyprocrite, she really was.

I hadn't even been paying attention as Lilly led off into a secluded area, I could see few kids around a smaller bon fire. I felt arms wrap around my shoulders, and a sloppy kiss was planted on my cheek. I pulled away instantly and groaned.

"Silas. Please don't ever do that again. Thanks." I started to walk away, and into the forest. I could hear him following me, but I could have sworn I saw a shadow to the left of me whizzing by the trees.

"Aw come one Mands. You know you like me." You could smell the vodka on him from miles away, moron. He was so clueless, I kept on walking, getting deeper and deeper into the forest. Maybe I'd come across Bear's path, but maybe I wouldn't since I haven't seen him for a week or so.

I kept a strong grip on my upper shoulder. "Silas. Get off of me. I don't like you, and I never will. Now please leave me alone." His grip only tightened, and then I was pushed up against the tree. His other hand gripped my other upper arm.

"You know Amanda. I know your sister and boyfriends little secret." I quickly looked up at Silas to see him smirking, slightly lowering his head down. "I also know about your parents tragic accident in Seattle. It might have been an accident, but I know the truth sweetheart." As he mentioned my parents, my heart started racing. I tried to pry him off of me, but he was much stronger than me. I wanted to scream, but I was mute. I couldn't even comprehend how to open my mouth right now. "Do you want to know the truth?" I watched in terror as his face lowered, his lips were an inch or two above mine, and his eyes were searching for the answer I couldn't say.

"Get off of me." I finally managed to say, it came out more as a squeak than anything. He only smirked at me, he bit his lip suddenly. He furrowed his eyebrows together, I realized the grip he had was loosening. This was my chance to escape. I brought my knee up towards his private area, and in an instant they collided. After that, everything was a blur.

I ran for it, but I didn't get far enough to get anyones attention. Silas came up behind me, once again pushing me against a tree. The back of my head collided with the tree, making everything seem blurry and fuzzy. I felt the warm blood run down from the cut on my head. I whimpered, "let me go." Which in return only got a snicker.

"Since you're not being so nice to me right now Amanda, I'm going to tell you the truth. Your sister, and boyfriend, or should I say 'boyfriends' are all monsters. They turn into werewolves whenever they want, your father was one also you know. That's why your mother married your father. There's this thing called 'imprinting' you see, and your father so happened to imprint on your mother. Ah, it was love at first sight, truly adorable if you ask me." I narrowed my eyes at this imbecile, he actually thought I'd believe this bullshit? "But as you see, Seattle was attacked by new born vampires, vicious little creatures if you ask me. Your father, being the little hero that he is, tried protecting your mother when they went out on a little get away dinner. So happens, thats when the little vicious creatures attacked your parents. Your father was so caught up in protecting your mother, he accidently snapped her neck when he threw a vampire ninety miles per hour in her general direction. He obviously didn't know she was there, so when he did realize, he lost all comprehension, and was killed by a new born vamp." I couldn't help but let the tears roll down my cheeks, even if this was bull, I could see my father trying his hardest to save my mother.

"Silas. Get. Away. From. Her. Right. Now." I turned my head towards the voice. My heart started beating quicker when I saw Rhiannon, Jake, Quil, and Embry standing together. Silas snickered, and loosened the grip on my arms. I fell to the ground, with a pounding headache.

"I'll see you again soon, beautiful." At that last word, the shallow breaths I had, began to stop. I started hyperventaliating. He was the one from my dreams. The one with the red eyes, the one who terrified me to even think of sleeping at night. And he's the one that I had been so close with since the first day of school. How could I have not known?! I looked over to see where Silas was, and with a blink of an eye, he vanished in the darkness. I didn't even realize that three abnormal looking dogs like Bear started to chase after Silas.

My heart started beating faster at everything I heard tonight. I couldn't believe it, I shouldn't believe it. Werewolves and vampires don't exist! It's just a made up story! But deep down in my heart, I started to believe it. I started to sob when I realized my dad and mom were killed by vampires, it wasn't just a stupid car accident.

"Oh god, Amanda!" I heard the husky voice in front of me. I looked up with tears in my eyes into the gorgeous brown eyes of Jacob. He grabbed me and pulled me into his huge chest, he started to rock back and forth as my sobs grew louder.

Why was he doing this? He hated me? All the scowls and glares flashed by me, making me cry harder into Jacob. I threw my arms around his chest, and buried my head into his body that had been overcome by heat. I felt his hand touch the back of my head, and a small gasp came from his mouth.

I felt him pick me up bridal style as I slowly grew into unconsciousness. The last thing I heard before I finally surrended to sleep was, "_please hold on, I can't lose you."_


	7. Phasing And Yelling

**I've been reading Breaking Dawn, I'm not really sure how I feel about it right now.  
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I didn't know how long I was unconscious for, but every now and then I would drift in and out. If I was lucky I would overhear a slight conversation from the nurses that would walk by, or I would hear a doctor examining a patient. I could feel the throbbing pain everytime I would move my body, it was unbearable. Shouldn't I have some pain killers? Some Morphine, or something?

I felt a presence around myself near the bed I laying in.. I felt a scorching hand intertwine with my cold numb one. As I opened my heavy eyelids, I could see the familiar face that I had been avoiding for a week before this incident. I took notice that Rhiannon's hand was in mine, and she had her head bent down, resting it next to my left thigh. Her skin looked paler than normal, and she looked a tad bit skinnier than I remember. It might just be from the incredible pain I felt right now, it must be making me imagine things.

Coughing lightly, I watched as Rhiannon's head snap upwards from the resting position she was in. Rhiannon instantly released her hand from mine, and brought me into a big sisterly hug. The pain got worse, but I didn't want to ruin the moment. She let go finally and I noticed she had tears starting to form.

"Amanda.. I'm so glad you're okay." She finally managed to choke out, she always tried composing herself in front of me when she was upset, but I guess this was too much for her. Or she didn't care if I saw her cry anymore. "I'm so sorry Amanda. I should have been at the house more with you, I was so caught up in everything that I forgot I had a responibility for you." I could tell she was sincere, I could tell she was blaming herself for what happened to me.

I shook my head slowly, trying not to make the pain increase. I was getting incredibly irrated by Rhiannon always blaming herself for things she shouldn't even have to worry about. "Rhi. Stop. Just stop with everything, okay? I'm fine. Sure I'm in the hospital, but you weren't the one who pushed me against the tree, alright? So I want you to stop blaming yourself for everything. I can take care of myself, so if you want you can run along with your new best friends, frankly I don't really care what you do." Why was I being so harsh with her? She was only trying to look out for me.

I saw the hurt look on her face, and new tears start to form. I instantly regretted what I said. "Rhiannon. Damnit! I don't know what's wrong with me anymore. I have all this hostility towards everyone I care about, and I don't know where it's coming from. I didn't mean what I said before. I.. I think I'm just bitter that you've been spending less time with me. And hurt also, because all of you are hiding something from me."

I watched Rhiannon shake her head. "I'm sorry Amanda. I should have told you before when we realized what Silas was. We just thought he wouldn't attack you like he did." I furrowed my eyebrows together in confusion. What is she talking about? What Silas was? What the hell? He's a human, obviously. "I know you're confused Amanda, but I can't explain it to you right now. It's to complicated and I would need Jacob there with me. He knows more about this than I do."

Oh great, just what I need to feel better. Someone in the same room as me, glaring while I try to hide the pain running through out my body.

_Fan-bloody-tastic._

--

After the hospital finally released me from their hands, Rhiannon drove me home blabbering about something unimportant. I had to much stuff on my mind to even focus on Rhiannon's moving mouth. I couldn't believe how confused I was about everything.

_"And was killed by a new born vamp." _I don't know if Silas wanted me to believe what he was saying, but I just couldn't believe it. I don't believe in fairy tales, especially about werewolves and vampires. Really, I know there are a lot of those type of movies out now, but why would Silas just come up with a twisted mental story about my dad being a werewolf? He probably watched too many of those horror movies and thought it would be hilarious to mess with me.

_He did mess me up._

_"Please hold on, I can't lose you." _Those words plagued my dreams every night in the hospital. I didn't understand why Jacob had said that, maybe I had been running a fever and made me delirious? It just didn't make any sense to me, he hated me, didn't he? If he didn't then what was with all those unwanted glares and scowls, and the distance he kept putting between us? The one feeling I didn't want was having the feeling of being hopeful. Hopeful that those words that came out of his mouth were the truth, that he didn't want to lose me. Hopeful that he felt the same way as I for him.

I hoped he was falling slowly **in love **with me.

I shook my head violently, letting the incredulous thoughts escape my mind. How could I think that? I quickly put my hand to my forehead, sweating and hot. Thank god for the fever! I kept blaming my fever for the thoughts of Jacob.

"Manda? You okay?" Looking up, I saw Rhiannon with the passenger door opened. She held her huge hand out for me take, and then she led me to the house. I still felt kind of sick when I entered the house, I felt like I was about to pass out at any second. Rhiannon placed me on the couch in front of the television, and then walked out in to the kitchen. I could hear her whispering a few seconds later while I rested my eyes for a bit.

I must have fallen asleep for a few minutes, because when I opened my heavy eyelids not only did I see Quil, Embry and Jacob sitting at different places in the living room, but I saw those familiar red eyes flash by my mind. I shut my eyes again tightly and reopened them and took notice of where everyone was sitting. Quil sat on a recliner chair diagonal from the television and the couch. Embry also sat in a chair it was also diagonal from the television, but a tad bit closer to the couch. Rhiannon was sitting next to me, with my head resting on her shoulder. She had her left arm wrapped around me as I cuddled into her chest.

And then on the other side of me, was Jacob Black. Before any of those incredibly stupid thoughts flooded back into my head, I quickly looked away from him.

I pushed myself off of Rhiannon so I wasn't being suffocated with heat. She smiled down at me, but quickly faded when she saw the look on my face. She knew I wanted to know the truth. She sighed a big sigh, and ran her hand through her hair. Embry, and Quil were looking in my direction with small smiles on their faces. I gave a weak one back, letting them know I wasn't mad or ignoring them anymore.

I didn't even look towards Jacob, I was still incredibly confused about him and everything that was involved with him. "Where do you want us to start Amanda?" I held my breath in when I heard his voice muttered out loud something incoherent.

"Wherever you want to start." I saw him nod towards Rhiannon, I guess she was going to explain everything to me.

"Amanda, what we're going to tell you is the truth. I don't want you to freak out or have a panic attack, okay?" She eyed me suspiciously. What am I going to do? Run the hell away? Well I was always good at that. I rolled my eyes and nodded for her to continue. "What Silas told you three days ago was the truth. I am a werewolf, as is Jacob, Quil and Embry. Daddy used to be one, I always knew something was wrong with him, I just never figured it out until I turned into one myself. You should have been one, but it always skips a generation. Remember when mom had that miscarriage? If she didn't, then you would be the one in this situation, not I." I felt a sneer finding its way to my face, I felt anger also rising in my chest. Did everyone in La Push think I was a dumbass? Even my sister thought I was. I was about to explode, but Jacob took his turn to explain the best he could for me to understand.

"Werewolves have to learn how to control their emotions, because if we don't, then we'll phase and endanger everyone around us. You remember Emily? Sam_'_s fiancee? Well you remember those scars on her face when you met her? Sam gave those to her, he lost control and phased with Emily around. He didn't mean to hurt her, he feels guilty all the time when he looks at her, but she always tries to comfort him. They're made for each other, soul mates really." I watched Jacob quickly shoot a warning glance towards Rhiannon, Quil and Embry. What was that look for? I waited for Jacob to continue, but Embry then took his place for the speech. I wanted to roll my eyes and groan out loud, but I reeled it in for the sake of being polite.

"Amanda, the first day of school when you walked into Trig, holding hands with Silas, do you remember how Jacob was shaking violently?" I nodded my head, trying to grasp what he was trying to say. "When he saw you come in with Silas, he was about to phase because he impr.." He quickly shot a glance towards Jake, and continued. "Because he knew that Silas was a vampire, you see vampires and werewolves are mortal enemies." I couldn't help but roll my eyes at this, I already knew they were enemies. "He didn't want anything to happen to you, none of us wanted anything to happen to you, but we thought Silas was like the Cullen's. And.. Bella.. We thought he'd be a vegetarian, but we thought wrong and almost lost you. For that we apologize for, but you're now safe. Silas was.. beheaded.." I gulped and quickly looked at the ground, for fear that they would see the worry in my eyes. If Silas is dead, then why did I see those red eyes again? I thought he was the one in my dreams? Maybe he was, and I just couldn't help but remember how terrified he made me feel. Yeah, that was the reason ... I started to panic a little bit, but quickly regained my composure before they could see what I was doing.

They stared at me, probably waiting for me to speak. I didn't know what to say, what I was feeling. I felt ... numb basically. How could I believe them? "Show me." I managed to say, but it kind of came out as a whimper/squeak.

"Show you what?" I heard Jacob ask, rather harshly. I was really getting sick of this hormonal little ass.

"Phasing." I said with the same tone Jacob had, "I don't know if I actually believe that you all are werewolves."

I watched impatiently as the three 'werewolves' glanced at each other. They probably were debating on who was going to show me 'phasing.' Jacob finally growled and stood up. I never really noticed how tall he was, he must be about seven feet now. I literally had to look up to see his eyes, while he had to look down. I walked silently behind the three as they walked out the door. Jacob had taken off his shirt, his socks, shoes and shorts. He had boxers on, he walked about 15 feet in front of us, probably not to be near me, and quickly took them off and immediately he phased into... _Bear_?

I started hyperventilating, I couldn't believe it. All this time I was feeling attached to flipping** JACOB BLACK?!** All this time when I wanted to see my best friend Bear, I actually wanted to see him?! How could I have been so dumb! I should have realized something was up when I first compared them at the Black's house. How could I have loved that stupid, ignorant asshole this whole time?

I wished I didn't ask them to show me phasing, now I was incredibly pissed off. I couldn't let the anger cool down at all. I saw Rhiannon standing in front of me, holding my shoulders, slightly shaking me as I breathed in and out loudly and in shaky breaths. "Amanda? Calm down." Rhiannon announced, shaking me more. I watched Jacob pull his boxers back on, and then the rest of his clothing articles. He had a sheepish grin on his face when he stood next to Rhiannon. My temper was growing as I stared at him. Embry and Quil were standing behind me, probably about to pounce when I pounced on Jacob.

"I wouldn't hit him Mandy." I growled at Embry when he used my nickname again. "You'll just break you hand, or arm." He quickly added, slightly chuckling.

Instead of hitting, kicking, or smacking I started to yell at him. "Jacob Black. I can't even describe how ... pissed off I am at you. You approach me in your goddamn werewolf form, yet you can't even LOOK at me when you're human? You scowl, glare and even growl at me whenever you see me in the hallways, the lunchroom, the classrooms. Yet, when you're a wolf you lay your head in my lap, and lick my face?" I started to blush when I realized he had his head in my lap that one time, he was so incredibly close to... "You're such an ass!" My hands were balled into fists by the end of my rant, I felt a lot better when I released everything. Jake just stared into my eyes, until finally he busted out a roaring laugh. I only rolled my eyes and released Rhiannon's grip on my shoulders, and walked into the house.

Embry and Quil followed me in, while Rhiannon stayed back and I guess talked to Jacob. I don't know, I don't really care either. I still didn't want to put up with Jacob, even if I did feel a lot better letting him know how I felt. They sat on either side of me, I must be crazy to actually believe this. It was obviously true though, since I saw Jacob phase into the same wolf I first came in contact with.

Rhiannon and Jacob finally walked back into the house, Jacob wouldn't even look at me. My hands became fists again, and my knuckles were turning white. I didn't care either that my nails were digging into my palms. I don't understand how he can get to me like this.

"Who are the Cullen's? And who is Bella? Since when were vampires vegetarian also?" I asked, remembering Embry say their names. I watched from the corner of my eye, Jacob shaking violently like last time during school. He clenched his jaw together, I swear I heard a slight crack. And in an instant, I watched him rip his clothes off of his body, and fly out of the door as Bear.

"Did I say something wrong?" I asked, feeling slightly guilty for Jacob's outburst. "Ah, I always do and say something that I shouldn't!" I yelled, throwing my head into my hands. I wanted to break something.

"No, it's fine Amanda. He's just been through a lot with the Cullen's and Bella. I won't say much, that's up to him. But Bella was his first love, but she loved another. Eward Cullen. He was a vampire. He's been through a lot lately Amanda, just give him a break, he'll eventually come around." Embry announced, as he placed his arm around my shoulder.

I only smiled and rested my head on his shoulder. I didn't want them to know how I felt when he said _'first love.'_

My heart sank when Embry told me about Bella, I'm sure she's much prettier than me, probably much smarter than me also. How could I compete with someone that Jacob hasn't gotten over yet?

I can't do this anymore. I need to keep my distance from Jacob while he's healing, he'll never feel the same about me as I do for him. He's all about Bella, since he can't even hear her name and then control his emotions from exploding.

I guess you could say that unrequited love really sucks.


	8. Birthday?

**So, once again, I got the inspiration to write after finishing Breaking Dawn.  
Sorry it's so short, but I thought I'd switch it around a bit, and let you get to know Rhiannon's thought a bit ;)  
This is just a filler for the next chapter **

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**Oh, and Fandom Jumper, hah, I can't believe the two dogs name were Bella and Bear:) How ironic, huh?  
Thanks for sticking with the story though!**

**And thanks to everyone else who has been reading it!  
I literally am shocked at how many of you like it.  
I don't even know how_ I_ feel about it yet.**

**But, keep leaving the reviews about what you think so far.  
Be honest, also ;)**

**The more I get, the faster I'll update, heh ;)**

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**Rhiannon's point of view.**

I could see the change in Jacob and Amanda. After the confrontation after Amanda was released from the hospital, I saw the way she looked at everyone. She looked at everyone like she was seeing them for the first time. Like a blind person finally having the ability to see what was in front of them for their very first time. She kept her distance though, like she was afraid at any moment we would attack her.

She kept the farthest distance from Jacob however. I knew he imprinted on her, I gagged everytime I would see her when Jacob would phase. He couldn't control it anymore, he tried reeling it in at first, now it was coming flat out. It was quite annoying if you ask me, I wish she knew how he felt about her. I wish she saw the way he saw her through his eyes, the way she looked to him. To him, she was everything he ever wanted, she was the only one he had eyes for.

But Amanda shut herself off everytime Jacob was near, I'm not sure exactly why she does it. I had a pretty good idea though. She liked him, maybe even loved him.

It's pretty obvious the way she feels about him, you can see it in her eyes when she looks at him. The way they would sparkle in the light, especially when she would see him smile or laugh. The way her face lights up whenever he walks into the room. The way she held her breath in when Jacob would accidently brush up against her, or the way her knees shaked like jello as his very touch. I would catch her staring at him intently sometimes, but then she would quickly look away and shake her head. It was like she was trying to force herself not to think about him.

Jacob was, to be blunt, an oblivious moron. He was getting better at being around her now though. He could actually be around her without scowling or glaring in her direction. I think he was finally surrending himself to his feelings for her. Yet, he would never tell her how he felt about her. He thought he was protecting her, he thought she wouldn't want to be with an animal like himself. He didn't know if he could control himself with her around, especially if she was endangered. He couldn't promise himself that he wouldn't immediately phase, with her around, especially if he was full or rage, or jealously.

He tried to be everywhere she was. Ever since that night at the bonfire, he swore to himself she'd never get hurt again. He promised to himself, and to I, that he would be there forever and always to protect her. He was sincere about it, but I had doubts in my mind. He still thought about Bella sometimes, he missed her obviously, but couldn't he see the effect he had on my baby sister?

"Rhiannon! I'm home!" I quickly snapped out of my thoughts, and got up from my now entirely to small bed, and greeted Amanda home from school. She had a huge smile on her face, she's been coming home like this for a few days. I wanted to know what got her in such a happy mood, but everytime I would, she'd brush me off like nothing.

"Happy birthday Rhi!" I stood in shock, how could have I forgotten my own birthday? Was it already October thirty first already? Am I actually twenty today?

"Oh thanks.. Whatcha get me?" I laughed when she rolled her eyes at me.

"You're to old for presents Rhiann." I growled at her when she announced the old part. She laughed quietly, and shook her head. "But, we are going trick or treating with Quil and Claire. I don't know if Embry and Jacob are coming though..." She started off loud and excited, but it dulled down a bit when she announced Jacob. I just wanted to grab her by the shoulders and say, _"don't be an idiot Manda! He loves you!"_ But I kept my mouth shut, Jacob had to be the one to tell her, it wasn't my place to do so.

I heard the phone ring suddenly, and walked into the kitchen where it was. "Hello?"

"Uh, hi. Can I speak with Amanda please?" I looked into the living room where Amanda was sitting down watching tv. Why was I suspicous of this voice talking to me?

"May I ask who is calling?" The voice was gruff and had a tint of something in it that I couldn't comprehend. It felt like he was acting superior than I.

"Oh yeah, this is Adam. Didn't Amanda tell you about me?" I could hear the disappointment in his last words. "I'm her boyfriend." I couldn't help but let out a squeak of laughter. Amanda's boyfriend? She would have told me if she had one.

I yelled for her, and she immediately got up from her place on the couch. I watched in amazement as her cheeks flushed at something this Adam character said on the other line. She kept biting her finger nails, and twisting her hair in her hand. Why was she nervous? She only bit her finger nails if she was nervous or sad, she sure as hell didn't look sad. I already didn't like this kid. I don't know if it was the protective sisterly thing kicking in, or because I knew about Jacob and his feelings for her. Who was I protecting? Amanda _or_ Jacob?

"Boyfriend, huh?" I finally asked as she hung up the phone. Her face lit up with excitement, and a blush started to creep its way onto her cheeks.

"Yep. Adam and I have being going out for a week or so now. Is it okay if he comes tonight with us?" I couldn't help but nod as I watched her eyes fill with hope. She let out a squeal, hugged me tightly, and ran upstairs. How could someone make her so happy that she actually squealed? I never in my life heard her squeal, I couldn't help but feel the anger fill me. How could she just automatically ditch the feelings she had for Jacob? What did this Adam character have that he didn't?

I tore the clothes off of my body as I took off into the forest, I needed to calm my nerves before seeing Amanda and Adam in a few hours.

How is Jacob going to handle this? Did he already know? He probably doesn't, especially since he hasn't said anything to anyone, or thought about it while he phased.

Hopefully Jacob wasn't coming tonight.

I guess Amanda was good at hiding secrets better than I thought she could.


	9. Deja Vu

**Ah, so here is chapter 9. I hope you like it.  
I don't really know how I feel about it at the moment.  
Let me know what you think!**

**Also, I think there will only be a few more chapters left after this.  
There may be a sequel though, tell me what you think I should do ;)**

**Leave reviews, the more I get, the faster I'll update!  
**

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Not only did Halloween turn drastic, but my feelings, my thoughts, and my dignity as well. How do you respond to something like that? How do you keep your concentration when someone announces those words? How do you keep your heart beat from beating out of your chest? How can you see clearly when your eyes are clouded with tears and confusion?

The only thing I could think of was run away. Run away as far as you could go to escape everything. Run away to clear your thoughts and feelings for such a brief period of time.

Maybe I should start from the beginning of Halloween night. The beginning to when everything changed completely for me.

--

I could feel my heart beating faster as Rhiannnon approached Adam's house. I looked over to Rhiannon, and I couldn't help but snicker everytime I looked at her costume. She had on big ears that looked like dog ears, she had fake whiskers on, and drew with a black marker on her nose one that resembled a dog.

While she was dressed up as a dog, I was dressed up as a baby. I had my brunette hair in high pigtails, I had a pacifier and was in my pajamas. I was comfortable, that was the only thing that mattered to me. But how ironic that would turn out by the end of the night.

As the car came to a halt, I quickly jumped out of the front seat and knocked on Adam's door. Not a second later, he walked out without a costume on. I was kind of disappointed with that fact, but I couldn't complain. His dark, shaggy brown hair was falling slightly into his icy blue eyes. His slightly plump lips were curled at the end, widening ever so slightly as he looked at my outfit, until finally you could see his straight white teeth. His smile knocked me off my feet the first time I met him in Art class.

"Hi baby." I couldn't help it but everytime he called me that, my stomach would fill with butterflies. The blush would always come up onto my cheeks without my consent. I hugged him tightly, never wanting to let go. His warmth was perfect, especially when tonight was slightly on the freezing side.

We walked back to Rhiannon's baby, and slipped into the back seat. I could see Rhiannon looking Adam over in the mirror. I glared at her to stop before he noticed, by the look in her eyes I could telling she was scowling at me. I didn't know why she didn't like Adam, or the fact that I had a boyfriend. She was acting like I was already in love with him, which by the way is impossible, I've only known him for about two weeks. It's impossible to love someone in such a short amount of time.

While Rhiannon was driving towards Quil's house, Adam and I kept whispering little compliments about each other in the back seat. Rhiannon kept turning the radio up louder and louder to drown out our whispers. I wanted to snicker every time she pretended to gag, she had excellent hearing, even over the loudness of the radio.

After ten minutes of loud music, whispers, and Rhiannon fake gags we had finally reached our destination. Quil's house. I couldn't help but smile wide as I saw Claire come bouncing down the stairs in her adorable costume. She had on a big lion costume, the only thing you could see was her adorable little face sticking out. Quil must have painted on fake whispers, and a lion's nose.

"Hey sweetie!" I cooed as she jumped into my arms. I was starting to get attached to this little girl. Quil wasn't thrilled about Claire's costume, and everytime she pretended to roar, I wanted to laugh in his face, but I controlled it.

"So... uh when are we heading out?" Adam asked, finally regaining his voice. He had been mute for the past five minutes.

I watched in anger as Rhiannon and Quil glared in his direction, they didn't answer him and continued with their private conversation. Why were they doing this to Adam and I?

I heard another car approach, and I prayed that it wasn't Jacob. However, considering I always had the worst luck ever, Embry and Jacob came walking towards us.

I felt my heart beating faster as Jacob approached. I felt three pair of eyes on me as I looked towards the ground. I couldn't even look up to face him, I didn't want to either. I didn't want to see the glare or the scowl he would have had, especially if he noticed that my hands were intertwined with Adam's. I felt two arms wrap around my waist, and pull me into their chest. I guess I was shaking, not because I was cold, but because I was afraid that Jake wouldn't be able to control his emotions, and attack Adam and I. I quickly looked up into Adam's ice blue eyes, and gave a weak smile.

"Let's go." I heard someone announce, but it sounded more like a growl. I winced at the tone, it was Jacob. I instantly looked up and saw he was shaking, glaring, clenching his fists as he walked away quickly.

Adam and I strayed behind everyone as they walked Claire to the houses. I didn't want Adam to feel awkward with everyone glaring at me. He did notice though, and insisted that he would go home. I wouldn't let him though, I didn't want their wrath stowed upon me after he left.

Eventually, after an hour of the intensity of everything, Adam had enough and began to walk home. Not only was I pissed at Adam for leaving me by myself, but also the group in front of me. I wanted to kick them all where the sun doesn't shine. The only I wasn't pissed at was little Claire Bear. I couldn't help but let the anger wash away as I stared at her little figure skipping towards me, with a huge smile plastered on her face.

"Mana!" She yelled, pulling me with her as she approached a small house for candy. As I passed the group I was with, I shot them the best dirty look I could muster. Rhiannon and Jacob both looked like they wanted to say something, but I ignored them and continued to go from door to door with Claire at my side.

After two hours of trick or treating, Claire had to retreat back home. Quil picked her and put her on his shoulders and walked towards her home. Embry went with him, as Rhiannon ran back to her car. I didn't know what happened at first. Slowly, I began to realize what just happened.

They abandoned me with ... Jacob.

I'm going to kill Rhiannon when I finally get home.

"Aman..." Jacob began, but I cut him off. I didn't want to hear his annoying voice after he sent my boyfriend running off.

"Shove it Jacob." I instantly turned around and started walking home, which would take about a half hour.

I could hear Jacob behind me. I didn't turn around or even acknowledge him as he spoke. That was only until he grabbed my upper arms, making me face him. I didn't know what was happening, but I saw his face closing the distance between us. I was frozen to the ground, I wanted to run away. I needed to run away.

My breathing stopped abruptly as Jacob pressed his lips on mine. They were exactly the way I pictured them in my dreams. The kiss was warm and soft, but full of passion and hunger. I felt his hot hand on my neck, and the other on my waist. I couldn't think straight as my lips moved with his. My legs started trembling, and I couldn't resist the urge to proceed more with what we were doing. But I stopped, I pulled away instantly when I regained composure.

I didn't even realize the tears were silently falling down my cheeks. "Wh...Why? Jacob.. after all this time, you choose now? You choose to finally do that, when.. I'm actually happy with someone else? What.. is wrong with you?" The tears didn't stop as I stared up into his eyes.

"You seriously can't be happy with that kid. I can give you everything you need Amanda, I can protect you wherever you go. He can't, he wouldn't especially if he got himself and you into a serious situation. Do you think he would push you out of the way if a car was speeding towards you? Do you think he would take a bullet for you? Do you think he would die for you? Absolutely not! He's selfish and ignorant!" I stared at him in confusion, what the hell is he going on about? No one would take their own life to protect me! Everyone in this world is selfish and ignorant!

"How dare you Jacob Black! I can never be with you, if that's what you're trying to say Jake. You're a flipping werewolf for christ's sake! Just by being what you are puts me in danger everyday!" I tried calming myself down, but I couldn't. The anger was flowing through my veins like blood. I roughly pushed Jacob's hands off my arms, and slowly backed away from him.

"Amanda.. please.. please don't do this to me." I looked up into his pleading eyes, I wanted to give in right then and there, but I couldn't. I didn't want to give into him, I couldn't give into him. "You don't understand Amanda.. I never wanted this to happen to me.. ever. I didn't think I could, but I did, and I'm sorry that I hurt you.. Just.. please give me one more chance... I ... I love you."

_WHAT?! What the HELL is going on? This is like deja vu, where had I seen this scene before?_

Trying to comprehend where I had seen this scene before, I felt every emotion one person could feel in their lifetime running through out my body. I felt numb, with that feeling, I withdrew myself from everything. I withdrew myself from him the best way I could think of, and that was running away. I ran so fast, that I couldn't even hear or feel my feet hitting the cement.

He loves me? He seriously flipping loves me?

"I love you too." I whispered to myself as I ran away from him. In the background, I could hear his anguished howl. The tears flowed more quickly now than ever, why couldn't I say I love you back? Why did I run away? Why do I always run away from the most important things in my life?

Getting out of breath, I stopped for a quick second. Hearing a leave crunch behind me, I quickly turned around to see if those red eyes were staring at me. Ah! That's where I saw that scene, in my dreams. And if I'm correct, those red eyes should be staring at me. Where are they? Why am I even wondering, I should be glad I don't see them! Maybe Silas was the vampire in my terrifying dreams?

I waited for another ten minutes, and no sign of the red eyed vampire. I sighed a big sigh of relief, no more nightmares. I don't have to be afraid anymore of closing my eyes to see those terrfying things.

I got up from the rock I was sitting on, and started walking back home in a fast paced stride. I needed to do something before it was too late.

I needed to tell Jacob Black that I was head over heels in love with him.

I needed him to know before I chicken out and run away again.


	10. The End?

**So this is the ending of Falling Slowly.  
It's a little on the short side, but I am making a sequel.  
It's going to be called** _Farther Down, I'm Desperate For You_**.**

**Leave some reviews with what you thought of the ending ;)  
The more I get, the faster I'll post the sequel :D**

**And I just want to thank everyone who read this, and reviewed!  
I love you guys!  
**

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After realizing that Jacob needed to know how I felt about him, I tried to run as quickly as I could back to the house. I figured Jake would be at my house to relieve the anxiety he had as I walked through the door.

I could see the light from the house in the distance. I stopped running, and instead walked towards the house. I had to catch my breath before entering, and if I ran all the way to the house, I would be stammering like a moron. I quickly thought of ways to tell Jacob that I loved him, but every time I think I had the right way, it seemed to cliche and to sappy. I didn't even realize that I was pacing back and forth in the front lawn, until I heard bickering come from the house. I stood frozen as I heard the bickering turn into full out yelling. From the window I could see four shadows. I saw two of the shadows pacing back and forth in front of the window, while the other two stood out of the way with their arms across their chests. The two that were pacing kept yelling with their hands moving all over the place.

What was going on? Were they bickering because that I hadn't returned yet? Or was it something else? The two shadows seemed to be utterly pissed off.

I quietly entered the front door, and peeked around the corner where the four were. I saw a bewildered Embry and Paul pacing, while Rhiannon's face was flushed and stood away from the other two. Quil just stood there, sadness was evident in his features. What happened? I felt relief rush through my body, since they had stopped yelling, but they kept muttering under their breath.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. They all turned around, and I silently wished I hadn't returned. Embry and Paul started to glare at me. If looks could kill, I'd be six feet under the ground right now. Rhiannon just looked at me, like she didn't know what to say, she looked confused. Quil just stared into my eyes, it looked like he was trying to read my thoughts. It was like he was trying to understand something, that apparently I had no idea, had happened.

"You! What did you do?!" I was taken back by Embry's sudden outburst towards me. Paul was the one who usually lost his temper, not Embry. He usually was so nice and protective over me like a big brother. But it was just his werewolf instincts probably. He was shaking slightly, and it looked like he wanted to tear me to shreds with his teeth. Fear embraced me when I noticed the shaking pick up its pace a tad bit. As each moment passed while I stood there, it got worse. Paul must have noticed the look on my face, because eventually his glare softened and he started to whisper into Embry's ear.

He wasn't calming down. He just continuted to shake and glare at me. Eventually Quil started to stand in front of me in a protective stance, Rhiannon was just standing there. She looked like she was miles away in her own little world.

"How could you have done that to him Amanda? He has been nothing but nice to you, he never once forgave himself for Silas attacking you! He really loved you, yet you broke his heart when you ran away. That's the only image that he keeps replaying in his head. He thinks you loathe him!" I stared at Embry with my mouth wide open. What is he talking about? I didn't understand why he was telling me all this. Why was he losing his temper, and yelling at me?

"Wh.. Where's Jacob?" Finally regaining my mute voice, I couldn't help but think the worst. I hope he didn't try to kill himself, I don't think I could live with myself if he did.

"Why do you even care?" Embry shot back. My heart broke right there, it felt like a million daggers were being thrown into my chest.

"I care because... I..." I couldn't even finish my sentence, my knees gave out and I felt nauseous. Quil caught me before I landed on the ground, he led me to the couch and placed me near the arm of it. He sat next to me, still having his protective stance around me, in case Embry lost his temper and phased.

Embry let out a cold vicious laugh. I slightly shuddered, I never heard that laugh before, I didn't like it one bit. I wanted to hear him let out that soft, warm laugh again. "Oh you care now? Well you lost your chance Amanda, he's gone..." The look on Embry's face was heartbreaking. It was mixed with anger, hate, pity, but most of all it was full of pain and agony. He lost his best friend again, but this time it was because of me.

I lost my chance to tell Jacob how I felt about him. He thinks I hate him, when actually it's the other way around. I wish I didn't run away from him, I wished I stayed there and just felt his warm lips moving with my cold ones. I wanted to feel his arms wrap around me again, I missed his warmth. I missed his laugh, his smile, his beautiful eyes, but most of all I missed him entirely. I missed the way he said my name, the way he made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world.

How could I have been so stupid, so oblivious? He loved me this entire time, and I was in denial of my feelings. I was in denial and pushed my feelings and Jacob away. And now he's gone.

I felt like I couldn't breathe, I ached in places I never knew existed. I could feel the color in my face running away from my body. My stomach started turning, I felt like I was going to throw up. I never knew what heart break felt like, but now I know. I felt empty, useless.

"Amanda?" I stared into the face staring into my eyes. The brown eyes that reminded me of Jacob, was full of concern and fear. He wasn't glaring anymore, and he wasn't shaking. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, but I felt numb. I felt the tears start to form as I watched Embry's eyes start to water also.

He wrapped his hot, suffocating arms around me in a tight embrace. He whispered soothing words into my ear, which made me cry harder. Paul left after Embry calmed down, I didn't even realize that he left. Rhiannon was suddenly sitting next to me on the other side of me, when had she moved there?

I just stayed in Embry's tight embrace until I couldn't cry anymore. I felt my eyelids droop suddenly, I fell into a slight slumber. I felt Embry pick me up, and carried me up the stairs into my room.

I felt him kiss my forehead, whispering "_everything will turn out okay, Manda."_

I tried so hard to believe his soothing words, but I couldn't help but doubt them.

Nothing will turn out okay if Jacob isn't here with me.


End file.
